Opportunities - Seize them
Preface
Writing a blog is cathartic at the best of times, it allows you to escape in to the world of words. This blog became particularly important to me, I hadn't written for months, but a particular weekend became a turning point in my life for a couple of reasons, one life changing: It was the first time that a group of us (yacht race crew) had gone sailing together and secondly it was the weekend when my Mum had the first two of her three heart attacks; the third took her life.
My Hero
Digressing from the introduction to this blog; my hero is Robert Francis Kennedy. The much overlooked; academically superior brother to John Fitzgerald Kennedy. I was an impressionable sixteen year old when I discovered him; I read The Life and Times of Robert Kennedy by Robert Dalek. His moral stance for the civil rights movement; his appetite to control and deal with ‘The Mob’, and his execution of duties as Attorney General, gained my attention and my adulation. The ‘68 Election was his for the taking until Sirhan Sirhan took his life in the kitchen at The Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. If he’d become the 37th President of the United States of America, so much could have been different with the Vietnam War and Civil Rights in the USA. In my opinion the like has never re-appeared in US politics, Obama, doesn’t even come close.
A few years ago I went to Arlington Cemetery and visited his grave. Among the many quotes and profound speeches, he said this: “All of us might wish at times that we lived in a more tranquil world, but we don’t. And if our times are difficult and perplexing, so are they challenging and filled with opportunity.” Opportunity is the cornerstone of this blog.
Grief
I hadn't really taken the time to think about the weekend; in fact I haven’t really taken the time to grieve for my mum. What took me so long? The death of my cousin, six weeks after my mum passed away. From the time Mum died I have inadvertently suppressed my grief; seeing the deep sorrow of my Uncle, my Auntie and their children had ignited my loss. If I’m honest life was a struggle. If I could have packed my bags and sail away I would have.
Grief is such a horrible thing; totally different to anything I’ve ever experienced in my life before and since. My Dad died nine months earlier, but my brother and I were estranged from him. I experienced grief, but through a different guise. But Mum was obviously different, her heart attacks were unexpected; her death more so. I was at work and I was told that there was a call for, I had to take. That’s when I found out that my Mum had died. My life stopped at that point. I became numb. But after a while for others, life carries on, they forget; they don’t understand what is going on with you emotionally; psychologically; internally and I had some really bad days. Work had been my solace; home has become my prison, or so I thought at the time. My grief made my brain hurt; I become forgetful and not myself.
For my Mother’s death I took a week off, at the time I didn’t regret it, but now in hind sight, it was the wrong decision. Grief has a strange affect on you; you make decisions which you think are correct, when in fact they aren't. Work had been my saviour or so I had thought. The abundance of cards; emails and texts really took my breath away. What was totally amazing though, the crew from my race were instrumental in organising a collection, sending me a lovely bouquet of flowers It’s amazing to me that people, some I did’t know at the time , and others had taken the time and effort to do what they did: donate - £240 to the British Heart Foundation.
To the weekend then, a weekend for fun and getting to know each other; subliminally this was going to be test to see if we’d made the right decision to sign up for Clipper Race; in reality there was a chance that this weekend could make for some uncomfortable thinking, and some uncomfortable decisions to be made if we’d discovered that becoming crew for the Clipper Round the World Yacht Race 15/16 wasn’t for us. I have to confess, I was nervous. The nerves extended onto two levels: 1. Everybody in the world seems to sail, but me; 2. Was this going to be the right decision for me about taking part. Thankfully being on the boat; being part of the crew; the routine; the banter I came away and now when I think back: Yes I’d made the right decision to get involved. And I had no doubts at all about it. It was a weekend for firsts, where in the world can you be half naked with people you’ve only just met up with 12hours earlier? There I am standing there trying to dress and the other side of the boat is a man from Zurich!!
We slipped the lines late morning on the Saturday; the weather was against us, but it was a great opportunity to sail in weather that will eventually become part of our everyday lives during parts of the race. Visibility was poor with a low hanging curtain of mist, with a mixture fine rain to huge swathes of sheet rain pounding us; with the wind whipping around sailing in a Force 8 gale; sailing at 11knots.
Personal organisation and life on the boat, even though it was for such a short period time became apparent and I’d learned lessons just in those two days; understanding now more about the dampness of the boat; the need for the dry bags; colour coding and most importantly not to buy black clothing – because you can’t find it! Testing out the sleeping bag, finding its faults; knowing that when it comes to the race, I need to buy a pair of boots one size up and using Ziplock bags!
Parked up in East Cowes for the night, with Chris on Mother Watch; dinner was great, The boat was put to bed and we went to the pub! By morning the weather had dramatically improved, blue sky, the sun. The boat was prepped and ready to go. Leaving East Cowes and an hour into our morning I got a text about my mum. The skipper made the decision to get the boat back to the marina, so that I could get off and drive back to Cheshire.
And so life is challenging, I’ve encountered that first hand over that period of time, for those nine weeks. During that time I had made a decision to to take up a challenge; the chance to do something remarkable, which I hoped would give me the opportunity for other challenges in the future. The one thing I learnt in that period was to take up opportunities when they arise because you don’t know what is around the corner for you and that making the most of each and every opportunity and ever person who comes into your life. The race is about challenge; it’s about opportunity. It also gives those who have signed up perspective. John Lennon said:
"Life is not about getting a first at uni, life is about being content by being happy even if there is no money in the bank, know what you have and appreciate it".